Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
