remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
