yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
