the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
