Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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