My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
