eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
