Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
