To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
