i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
