Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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