I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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