are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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