Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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