You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
