tell your sister to shave her snatch
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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