Sry I called you an 8
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
