If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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