she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I just gargled with NyQuil
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
