I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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