hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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