Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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