I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
