if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
