Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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