Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
