I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
