I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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