sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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