You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
worst night to have a conscience
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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