mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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