so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
