Will you blow on my dice?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
