I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
