He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
