This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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