Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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