I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
