You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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