I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
