Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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