while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
