No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
