are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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