your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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