best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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