Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
