508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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