can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
