Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There r osticjed everywhere
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Two words: blizzard sex
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
