i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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