Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
