you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
