Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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