I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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