Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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