they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
