he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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