This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
