Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
